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November 2004
Well...this is really a report from October, but...
10/31/04 Horny Little Devils - Bellas in Gloucester
by Sarah "Bella Loca" Kerlin
If you follow cyclocross, you couldn't miss the Bellas on Halloween weekend, be it on the West or East Coast. While the Bella Elite Team was sad to miss the Spirit of Surf City event, we brought Bella love to Gloucester, Mass for the second round of the Gran Prix of Cyclocross.
Saturday's race was just like we had anticipated, a cold, wet, windy ride along the Atlantic. I got off to a fast start and was soon joined by Barb and Christine early in lap two. It was a perfect set up for the
three of us to work together and pull in the leaders on this very road-tactic friendly course, but alas, my bike was not working properly. I had just run over a gal who threw herself and bike into a large rock right in front of me, and my shifting was malfunctioning, so instead of leading the Bella charge I had to take a detour into the pits. Our Team Mechanic Tim performed a magnificent bike switch, but the pits were along a fast section of the course and I had to play catch up for the remainder of the event, working my way up to Christine by bell lap. We finished 9th and 10th, and Barbarella hammered away and moved up to 4th by the end. Mel, Erin, and Sami all finished in the top 25, it was a tough race with 55 finishers!
The course was essentially the same for both Saturday and Sunday's events, but the weather changed overnight. We woke up Halloween Sunday to warm sunshine and gleefully ran through the halls of the
hotel spraying our hair pink and blue and affixing ornaments to our pink flame helmets. The course was dry, fast, and strangely lacking in costume. We took it upon ourselves to show those conservative East
Coasters how to do it up Bella Style for Halloween.
I was feeling the love on Sunday and took the holeshot, and soon Christine came around me. I eased up in the single track and gave Christine a nice gap. Just before the sand pits, Gina Hall came up to pass me, and with a brilliant move, she mowed over me and shoved me into course tape to make sure I wouldn't get in her way in the sand. (Of course, I promptly complained to the race director afterwards about her "aggressive" racing tactics, and he banned her from all further races for her un-ladylike and non-elite racing style. NOT)
I was able to get back on Gina's wheel for lap two, and stayed with the lead group as Barb came to join us. My early efforts caught up to me and I eventually faded back to the chase group, but I heard the announcer going wild and it kept me motivated. "BELLAS are on the attack! Bellas are everywhere! Barb Howe attacks the leaders!" Barb rode like a champion, attacking Anne and Mary. Anne's eyeballs popped out trying to catch up. Mel and Erin rode together and finished 18th and 19th - Erin is making her move! Sami came on strong in the back half of her race and moved into 31st.
Barb looked smashing in her kitty ears and Mel and I had to endure the cheers from the spectators "GO HORNY DEVIL!!!" oh boy, had I known...and we gots lots of good press from the weekend. Here Barb gets credit for her hard racing, and I got some print for the holeshot, although I may have to stop doing that unless they give out Primes!
It was a great weekend, and now Barb and I are in 4th and 5th for the series, with Christine in 11th, although Barb and Christine will move up when they drop the lowest scores from our ranking.
10/31/04 - The 31 Days of Halloween
by Tracie Nelson
On the 31st day of october, my teammates gave to me...(deep breath)
31 sexy bruises
30 minutes of suffering
29 reasons for laughing
28 pumpkin cookies
27-year-old hot male racers
26 mucus-coated snot balls
25-mile high barriers
24 fattening doughnuts
23 costumed racers
22 bleeding brain cells
21 men in skinsuits
20 minutes of warm-up
19 Velo Bella racers racing
18 grimy grease-marks
17 sunburned faces
16 junior racers
15 muddy stains
14 smiling children
13 single speeders
12 clumsy dismounts
11 women in wigs
10 teammates cheering
9 feather boas
8 pink flamingos
7 pussing blisters
6 men in drag
5 GOLDEN WINGS!
4 bella slayers
3 french maids
2 brutal run-ups
and a man in a jock strap with a furry ass crack
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